I'm dealing with a struggle from within right now. You've been there before, when you're ready to just rip into someone so bad, but instead choose to just take the high road and "let it go". Is it more rewarding to not hold any punches and just let loose on said idiot, or does your "reputation" run the risk if you do react. How much should you really care about what that person thinks or says? Or, then again, how much would someone else care? It's tricky.
Somewhere along the line, someone has passed on you. They've compared you (see previous post) and chose someone else for that position, opportunity, etc. If you live in your own reality, you realize it's probably not your fault. Maybe the other guy was better suited, or, most likely, that decision maker just made the wrong choice. Maybe someone knew someone, some kind of politics came into play, you know, stuff happens. But, either way, in some context, you've been passed up.
Me, I've been passed on more times than I can count. So, I am reverting back to my high school days on this one, and making a list. This list is composed of those who have passed on me before, people I have to prove wrong every single day. I grew up playing ball under a lot of sayings, one of them is that even when your coaches aren't there, play like they are still watching, because they always are. You're always in the spotlight, and a lot of that light comes from those who didn't see enough in you to give you a chance.
One of the most bull shit societal sayings is, "Don't take it personal." I say, absolutely take it personal. Make your list right now, of people that have done you wrong and made you angry. Let that list motivate you every day to do more, work harder, and rise up. My list is full of names of all the haters out there who don't think Travis Ponton belongs, don't think Travis Ponton can hack, don't think Travis Ponton deserves something. It's funny, I look back on some of the names that used to be on that list, and I've done a lot more than they have.
Transitioning now, a lot of you who know me, know at least part of the story of what happened in the early morning hours of September 14, 2008. It was early that Sunday morning that many of us lost a brother, lost a friend, when Bobby Thomason was murdered in Radford. It's a night that I don't go a day without thinking of, remembering being right there, second guessing myself, wondering why it was him and not me. I can still close my eyes and picture what happened.
I shouldn't be here.
And yet, here I am.
That thought crosses my mind often. God picks us to deal with tough circumstances, and he picks his time for all of us to succeed and fail, to be born and to die. I can confide in that.
I have to say, I never thought I'd be riding in the car with one of my fraternal brother's parents, telling them how their son died, showing them where his body landed. Being in that Emergency Room, washing his blood off my hands. I still remember the funeral, September 23, taking off my paul bearer lapel and laying it on the coffin, as hundreds of people said goodbye, and the military fired those rounds in the air to the sound of the bugle playing TAPS. Brotherhood runs deep for me, because like most everything in life, it's fleeting.
This will be a tough weekend for me, no doubt. Always is. It'll hurt a little more than usual the next 10 days or so. Like many, I never forget. I am a better person because of Bobby Thomason, and I can do much, much more to be great for his sake, because I'm here. I have the opportunity to do what others can't. I'm sorry that I haven't done more with that opportunity, and I'll always be sorry I didn't do more on September 14, 2008.
It's what we go through, what we overcome in life that makes us who we are. No one can judge you. Someone somewhere has passed on you, but they don't know anything about what makes you special, what makes you tick. They couldn't walk a mile in your shoes. I find that I can't put into words how I feel, but if you want to know why I love the game of basketball, why I'm so passionate about coaching, and why I love to win, there's a little insight.
Live in your own reality. Be great because others never got the chance to. Never Quit (BT).
Always your brother...
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